Diary of a Turtle
From lightwiki
dear diary, I'm in the corner of the forest. I'm on my way to the sidewalk. I'm on my way to catch a piece of yogurt a human dropped on the sidewalk. Oooo, now I see a cheesecake!!!!!! I have to get it! But I have to get the yogurt first! Oh this is heaven! I'm now gulping down all that sweet yogurt! Oh, now I'm on my way to the cheesecake. Running, running... YES! I got it! I got my cheesecake!!!!!!! I'm sooooooo happy! The cheesecake is mine, mine, I tell you MINE!!!!!!! Oh, boy this little human girl found me and now I'm being taken down to the chambers of guilt!>_< NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey, whats this? They are putting me in a bucket?! This is so not a way to treat a delicate, handsome, charming turtle! They will probably cook me up to make turtle soup! What they are giving me a tomato? They are giving me broccoli? They are giving me... Oooo a strawberry!!!! I think instead of giving me tomato and broccoli they should of gave me human food like pizza and cookies! Ok, so maybe the food might be poisonous but how do you know unless you try? Just because the internet says i EAT something does not mean I LIKE it. If I was stranded in the middle of the desert I would EAT it. But that does not mean I would LIKE it. See your in the desert, and thats the only food there so your might as well eat it. see what I mean? If a little baby eats asparagus its not because he likes it its because he is really hungry and there is no other food on his plate! See people are not that smart, they think if you give us something we will suddenly eat it. Well that is sooo not true. You know they say turtles are omnivorous but I have never harmed an animal in my life! I mean I've had other animals harm me. Like that time when that big feathery owl swooped from the air and tried to catch me, or that time when I was swimming in the pond peacefully and a huge snake full of scales popped out of nowhere, ooooo maybe that time when i was so close to dieing but the big hairy bear had a flea and was busy scratching his snout. But i never hurt any animal ever! Well there was a time when i killed a fly because he was bothering me so much but other than that I've harmed no other animal.